Chapter 19

Dad in Tears, Daughter Hears & Studies Hard

Sakura completed high school when she turned 19. She received a B.A. scholarship in 2013 to the United States thanks to her good academic records and her high level of English. Her voluntary work during her high school years also helped her to secure the scholarship to study international relations in diplomacy. Being a committed daddy Dara helped his daughter Sakura to be well-prepared as she is about to leave to study in California. They both tried to put behind all the bad memories about Duongchan’s death but it did not work. The more they tried not to think about old memories, the more they cried.

Although Dara is as upset in his mind as Sakura over Duongchan’s death, he has pretended to be strong mentally and physically as he is worried that any sign of his weakness will affect his daughter’s state of mind.

On the Saturday afternoon, Dara took his daughter out and they walked along the park heading to the riverfront then they got the boat across the Tonle Sap river and viewed the sunset from the east bank of the river. The sunshine in December was so bright. They could see other people enjoying boat rides as far down river as where the birds were flying back and forth in front of the royal palace and above the confluence of the rivers of Tonle Sap, Mekong, Bassac, and lower Mekong. This junction of the four rivers is known locally as “Chaktomuk”.

Dara also saw some people who carried flowers, such as lotuses, as well as incense and candles to pray before a religious shrine which sits on the river bank. That moment brought back his tears as he thought of his Duongchan again.  He watched Sakura enjoying the afternoon view. All of a sudden, she asked her dad to show her where her mom used to walk and sit along the river. Dara pointed to the coconut tree where he used to sit with her mom in the summer of 1995. They walked there and sat. The dad tried to change the sad situation to be happy. “The sunset looks great but we will stay here a bit longer after the sun has fully set.”

“Why,” she asked.

“You do not know, Sakura? It is the full moon tonight,” he replied. “Oh, I see,” she nodded.

Dara always paid attention to his daughter, making sure that she is not too down due to her mom’s death. “I know what happened to your mom is too much for us but be strong, my beloved daughter.  We cannot change the past and we know that life must move on. You should focus on your studies as this will help you to have a bright future. You have to be strong, both mentally and physically. The more you miss your mom the more you have to study hard to make the spirit of your mom happy.” Dara paused as his voice broke. He reached out his hand and gently patted his daughter’s shoulder.

Sakura sat on the wooden bench and responded in a low voice, “Yes, yes daddy, I hear you loud and clear.  I will do my best.  I solemnly promise before you that I will study hard and that I will never ever let you down. I will study hard to honor mom’s spirit.”

After they viewed the sunset for about half an hour, the full moon emerged from the horizon over the villages on the east of the Mekong. They got the rowing boat and sailed back to the west bank where they had dinner at the floating restaurant before walking home through the breeze.

As they reached home, Dara unlocked the doors and turned to smile at Sakura, encouraging her to be strong and positive with her commitments. He said, “I thank you and am very pleased about your commitments. This is your golden opportunity. Not many people have an opportunity like this. Your cousins studied in the countryside. Not many of your classmates received such a scholarship but you did. So be happy and study hard. It is not just about your future but also about helping our country to develop after you graduate. The knowledge you will accumulate from your study in America can be used for the benefit of our country. I want to see your generation and the next generations of Cambodians to see each other as friends, not foes and never act violently against one another like we did in the past. None of us last forever given every life has its end, that is very true. People die, but their legacies do not die with them.  I have told you about Pol Pot, leader of the Khmer Rouge, who died in 1998 but his bloody legacies of genocide and other heinous crimes continue to be hated by humanity globally. I do not have to say anything further but you will understand and know more about this in the future.”

Sakura, who listened to her dad attentively, raised her hand showing her strong commitment and replied, “I thank you for all your advice and I will do as you say.”

Sakura is leaving in the next two days. The dad and daughter made phone calls to relatives and friends near and far to tell them that she will leave Phnom Penh on Tuesday next week. All the friends and relatives congratulated her and wished her well although only a couple of them made their way from the countryside to see her at home in Phnom Penh.

Dara felt that his daughter will cry a lot when she leaves him for the U.S., so he tried to make a happy environment; inviting her friends to come and enjoy dinner and lunch when she wanted. Dara made some jokes, recalling his bad performance when he studied in California.

 “I tell you what. I was the worst student in class back in 1997 when I studied in California.”

“How come?” she asked.

“I missed your mom so much. I did not sleep well as I was homesick and also because my English was not very good. I was struggling to deal with homework and I could not do it without Mexican-American food sitting in front of me. I loved such greasy food because I like being fat and strong. You know back then in Cambodia in the 1980s and 1990s, almost all Cambodians were skin as we did not have rich food during the war times. We were poor. So when I landed in the U.S., I just ate like pig and I was quite fat. I was a big eater then, but not a good sleeper as I told you because I missed you and your mom like crazy.”

As he told her this, Sakura giggled as she packed her clothes and items.

Dara felt happy because he saw his daughter was happy. He further joked, “Back then in the early 1990s after the Cold War ended, whoever was fat meant the person was rich because they have money to buy good food imported from Thailand. I had a lot of fun back then.”

Sakura laughed aloud as she was packing her items into her red suitcase. “That is unlike today, people want to be slim and handsome. I do not think I want to put on weight like you did.”

Dara who had experienced a lot of rich food during his time in downtown Los Angeles told his daughter not to copy him. “No, please do not do that. American food is quite tasty but could slowly kill you if you eat too much. So you should honor the Khmer saying, ‘Do not eat as much as you are hungry.’ Do not be so bold as to do everything you desire. You should learn as much as you can and look before you leap upon your arrival at LAX airport.”

Sakura was so thrilled about her coming trip to the USA. “I have heard that America is a country for all, a country full of freedom but also shootings in schools.”

“You are right, Sakura. It is the land of freedom of expression, the leader of the free world. Even UFOs/ USOs and aliens have been sighted the most in the U.S., maybe because they love Americans who are open-minded.” Dara said as he walked around and carried an old book in hands.

“What are these aliens and UFOs/ USOs you are talking about? she asked nervously.

“Oh, they are from other planets. The unidentified flying objects or alienate technology are far advanced from us. They reached us but we have not yet reached them,” he said.

“So why did not they come to help us when the world is now in peril?” his daughter asked.

“No, not yet, but when humans test or launch more nuclear bombs that will shake the universe, and they can be heard in other galaxies, then they will maybe come. Anyway, I do not want you to go too far otherwise you will get lost. Let’s focus on your study for now and stay away from guns and gangsters in the U.S. You will be gold. Just bear in mind that Americans put bad guys, not gold guys, in cages if they commit crimes”.

“What do you mean by cages? she asked.

“I mean prison as we say in Khmer,” he replied.

“I take your advice and will not let you down, daddy”.

Dara thanked his daughter for her words and he reached out to get a necklace from his drawer and handed it to his daughter with a smile. “I got a goldsmith at Central market to make a necklace with a photo of your mom as the tag covered with platinum. So you have two necklaces now if you include the one your mom gave you.”

Sakura held the necklace with great care and kissed it again and again. “I thank you so much for this necklace, daddy. I will wear it forever,” she said as raised her hands palms together in ‘Sompas’.

In return, Sakura said she has something for her dad and she walked straight to her room and took her photo which was placed next to her mom’s in the same frame-made of rosewood from the Cardamom mountains - that she had hung above her bed.

“I am sure you love these photos,” Sakura handed the photos to her dad.

Her dad took the photos and placed them against his chest and heart, “these sweet and memorable photos are everything I need,” he said with joyful tears. He then kissed it again and again.

The dad and daughter talked till midnight when they heard a loud noise of a car crashing into a corner of the main boulevard in the center of the capital. They believed it was probably influenced by alcohol, and shortly after they heard the sound of an ambulance breaking the silence of the full moon night.

“Please go to bed, Sakura. You need to have a good sleep before your long flight to the land of freedom”. The dad walked to his room. Sakura placed her suitcases next to the wall and went to take a shower.

Sakura was about to go to bed when she heard her dad snoring like a bull.

Before walking to her bedroom, Sakura looked out the wooden window and saw a cat hunting for a mouse in the moonlight. The smell of flowers was blown into the house by the breeze.  The lizard clinging to the wall of the bathroom made its call several times, a sign from nature that it was the middle of the night and that she needed to recharge her energy and be ready for the next day’s flight to California.

“Please, let mom’s spirit looks after me and daddy,” said Sakura as she lay down on her bed. She slept like a baby till the sun’s rays came through the gaps in the walls in the morning, followed by her dad knocking the door. “Please get up, Sakura, you have to be at the airport two hours ahead of your departure time. I will miss you so much, but I do not want you to miss your flight”.