LONG LOVE, SHORT LIFE

CHAPTER 16

TOMORROW NEVER COMES

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Part 1

Duongchan had avoided meeting Dara, who had tried to meet her for 8 years from 2005. Dara, through his neighbours, tried to convince Duongchan to see their daughter before Sakura left to study in the United States in November 2013. Finally, Duongchan agreed to meet her ex-husband and Sakura in Siem Reap, the home of the Angkor temples, on 13th November 2013. Duongchan had planned to give Sakura lots of things including money, and wanted to take a picture with her and her ex-husband Dara in front of Angkor again, the same spot where she had taken one in 2003 when they were together as couple. Unfortunately, her plan never happened because two days before her appointment with her ex-husband and daughter in Siem Reap, Duongchan was shot dead on her way home from shopping on 11th November 2013 in Phnom Penh. It remained to be seen who was to blame for her death although the incident happened as Cambodian armed forces tried to disperse and crack down on protestors on the outskirts of the capital.

Duongchan had bought lots of clothes, necklaces, and other items for her daughter Sakura who was about to leave to study in California.

Duongchan, 44, was seriously injured after being shot in the chest and was rushed to a main hospital where she passed away about an hour later.

Dara and Sakura did not know that their loved one had been gunned down in Phnom Penh. They waited and waited for Duongchan in Siem Reap, but Duongchan never showed up.

In Phnom Penh, Duongchan’s last words were in a breaking voice. “I am sorry sweetheart Dara and beloved daughter Sakura for everything… please accept all my apologies. Let bygones be bygones as I might not be able to see you both again as planned. Please accept my new family and make friends with them… please bury the past and allow life to move on. No matter if I survive or die we are friends in this life and the next life. For Dara, you can write about us all… you can curse and blame me for anything you want… the truth is still the truth. I love you and Sakura as much as I love my son and new husband. If you can, try to bring whoever was behind the violence and shot me to justice.”

Duongchan is dead although her eyes are still open as she wanted to see her daughter Sakura who she had never met since she left her in 2005. The whole room was overshadowed by sorrow and sobbing.

No-one knows that yet. Duongchan had written ahead of her plan flying from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap to meet her ex-husband Dara and daughter Sakura. She also has a golden necklace along with her picture and Dara’s tag with the necklace.

The father and daughter did not know yet that Doungchan was dead. They were now halfway from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap after giving up waiting for Duongchan Dara was driving. Sometimes Sakura fell asleep. Being a patient dad, he does anything to satisfy his daughter, especially since Duongchan left him for her new husband. Dara was a bit tired so he sipped Coca-Cola to wake himself up and put a CD on. Rock and roll by John Lennon, Elvis Presley, and Eric Clapton were still his favourite hits. He had loved those lyrics since he listened to them in 1993 when he worked for UNTAC in Pursat province.  As he reached about 50  km from the provincial town of Siem Reap, cows walked cross the road so he beeped the horn a couple of times, waking Sakura up.

“I can tell you are tired, daddy,” said the daughter who had slept for about an hour.

“You are right,” her dad replied, “as long as I know where your mom lives, I can drive all the way there to see her. No matter how far and how long. I did this already when I fell in love with your mom in the Cold War era. I cycled from my village to your mom’s village in the dark and we witnessed the Khmer Rouge attack in 1987 and much more.”

“I want to have my mom get in our old car and tour around Angkor then,” Sakura said with a big smile at her dad who nodded his head in approval, saying, “no problem at all. I can give you both a tour and drive from morning till dawn and see all the beautiful temples built by our ancestors 800 years ago.”

The sun was at a low angle. The golden sunshine on the palm trees, the rice fields, and the greenery around the villages, made the landscape of Siem Reap countryside look beautiful. Dara slowed down his car and opened the windows as they were approaching Siem Reap on their way from Phnom Penh. Sakura took a long deep breath to get the fresh air from outside, “thanks daddy, I quite like the good smell flowing in from the rice fields.”

“That is true and it would be even better if you had the chance to be with your mom when she was single; her good smell was much more powerful than the rice paddies.”

Sakura was a bit confused and asked, “I do not understand. What do you mean by that, dad?”

“You know what? During the Cold War, your mom was so poor she could not afford to buy shampoo or good soap to wash her hair so she picked the kaffir limes near her house and washed her hair with that instead. I myself did that in the past like many other Cambodians. It was a natural smell. But after the Cold War was over, I saw some shampoo had kaffir lime pictures on the bottles. You should try like your mom did one day. You cut the fruit into pieces and put some water on your head and squeeze the fruit onto your hair. It cleans the dirt and removes any bad smell from your head so your hair looks good,” Dara spoke as he drove and sometimes beep the horn scary cows walking on the road.

Sakura responded, “That is not a bad idea and I will do it one day. But first things first and we should be looking for a place to stay now.” After nearly six hours driving from Phnom Penh, they arrived in the city of Siem Reap. The dad suggested to his daughter t, “Maybe we should go to stay at the same guest house where we stayed with your mom 10 years ago when you were aged 9.” Sakura agreed and asked, “Is there anything special about that guest house?”

To be continued …

Part 2

“I have a feeling that your mom may come to stay at this place because we talked to each other and promised to stay at the same place when we visited Angkor next. So let me do so,” her dad replied in a breaking voice as he recalled his past sweet memories with his then wife. Dara struggled to find his way to the guesthouse he had stayed at before. The mushrooming construction of hotels, guesthouses, restaurants, the Swiss funded hospital, and others facilities in the home of Angkor, made Dara get lost as he tried to figure out which was the right way to get to the guesthouse.

About an hour later he found it, the guesthouse still has the same name, Khmerican Angkor. The guesthouse was built with wood in 2004 but had now been replaced by a four-storey building to meet the growing demands of tourism. There were an estimated 1 million tourists visiting Cambodia in 2004. 14 years later, it had grown to 6.2 million.

Dara continued: “I myself am pleased with the developments in Siem Reap, but these developments do not complete my life or yours until we meet your mom. Can you imagine how much happier we will be if your mom is with us these days? I almost lost my mind because your mom left us. But I managed to stand on my own and supported you all along. I told myself that I have to be strong, both mentally and physically, so that I can take care of you and raise you as I always wanted to see you have good future.” Dara tried to be strong and avoid crying as he talked.

He continued: “I always remembered that I am a breadwinner for you. I tried to forget the bad memories and keep only good memories so that I can move on and raise you.”

Sakura turned to see her dad’s face and understood his feelings. She comforted her dad, “I do understand your pains since mom left, but look at the sky and how it is now clear, the dark clouds flew away, the sun is shining. That means our happiness will come back again after bad days have passed. Be happy again today, daddy. Remember you keep telling me that as long as the earth keeps moving around the sun, we will meet again and again.”

Dara thanks his daughter for recalling his words, but in his mind that was just to convince himself so that he can move on, but in reality it is not true all the time.

The father and daughter walked to the reception desk in a guesthouse in Siem Reap, the home of Angkor. 

Dara asked the receptionist, “Any available rooms?”

The receptionist replied, “We have one room available. But if you can wait a bit till the American tourist checks out after lunch we will have another room for you. How many rooms do you need?”

“Two, please,” Dara said as Sakura stood holding her bags. As the receptionist was figuring out the rooms, Sakura interrupted, “oh, no. Why do you not book one for mom?”

“I am not sure if your mom will come to stay with us. She has our mobile numbers, as I gave them to your grandmother. So she can call us when she is in Siem Reap,” her dad replied.

Dara whispers to Sakura, “Your mom will not stay in this place like before. If I am not wrong, your mom is very rich and she will choose a five-star hotel instead. Your mom’s values are very different from when she was my wife.”

After the dad and daughter showed the receptionist their ID cards for registration, the receptionist found that the two names—Dara and Sakura—are the same as when a Cambodian lady with soft spoken voice called last week from Phnom Penh and booked three rooms together. Dara smiles in tears and is so thrilled after he learned that his ex-wife Duongchan had already booked rooms for him and their daughter Sakura at the same guesthouse they had stayed at before.”

“Your mom booked the rooms for us,” he told his daughter, who was stunned and asked him, “how do you know that?”

The daddy replied simply, “No one knows your name and my name in this town apart from your mom, and much more than that, your mom loves this place and we talked to each other when we visited Siem Reap before in 2003 and we said that when we come to visit Angkor next time we will come to stay at the same place unless the guesthouse’s name and its location had changed and we cannot find it.”

“Ah, I see mom had the same idea as you,” said Sakura who is so happy that she jumped up and down and spoke loudly. Some western and Asian tourists opened their doors and windows as they were curious about the unusual joyful voice at the lobby. An Asian-American man in his 20s leaned his head out the window and shouted, “Congratulations folks, but please keep your voice down.”

Another European lady approached Dara and patted his shoulder, “This is what we mean by globalization in this messy world. Some fight for wealth, others fight for power.  My problem is worse than yours, I mean my Muslim partner left me a couple of months ago and he did not fight for wealth or power, but for a religious war, whatever you call holy war or sectarianism in the Middle East.  He chooses holy over honey.” Dara heard and looked at the western lady and he thanked her while shaking his head.

The receptionist asked Sakura to lower her voice. Sakura, in response, said, “I am sorry for that, but please let my voice be heard loud and clear to welcome and celebrate our family reunion after 8 years of separation by the power of money and honey”.

Sakura turned to her daddy who beamed and adjusted his glasses as she cried, “Your words became true; as long as the earth keeps moving around the sun we will meet again.”

Dara replied, “I am so glad to hear this. I cannot believe your mom did this. She knew that we are poor when she left us. She knew that we still love her and that is why she made all the arrangements for us. I am thankful to her for doing this.”

Sakura grasped one key. Her dad gets another. They walked to their separate rooms.

To be continued …

Part 3

The next morning is the appointment time. Duongchan did not show up. Dara was a bit upset, while Sakura kept asking why her mom did not show up.

The second day and still no sign of Duongchan showing up. Dara decided that instead of staying and doing nothing at the guesthouse they would visit Angkor.

Dara and his daughter drove to Angkor. Dara is more than just a good-hearted dad but also a tourist guide for his daughter. Some tourists confused the dad and daughter for a couple.

It was almost sunset so Dara and his daughter Sakura returned to the guesthouse, but still Duongchan had not shown up. He would have called Duongchan if he had her number but he did not. Duongchan had asked friends, including her mom, not to give her private number to Dara and Sakura since she felt uneasy now she had a second husband.

The third day came, and still Duongchan did not show up. Instead of waiting in the guesthouse, Dara suggested to his daughter that they visit Phnom Bakheng where a historic temple had been built in the 9th century on top of a natural hill. Sunset lovers find this hill quite attractive thanks to its view over the Angkor complex. As they arrived at the foot of the hill, a security guard, who handled the entry tickets for visiting Angkor, stopped Dara.

He approached them asked Dara in English, “Could you please show me your ticket?”

Dara was a bit nervous and responded in Khmer, “What ticket?”

The guard opened his eyes wide, “Even if you speak Khmer, you still have to buy the ticket as you are foreigner. A one-day visiting pass costs $20 USD. Three-day pass to be used within one week costs $40 and a seven-day pass used within 1 month costs $60.”

Dara continued in Khmer, “I am Khmer. I do not have to pay for a ticket to visit Angkor. You can see my daughter is Khmer.”

The guard wanted to make sure they are Khmer so he asked, “Your names, please?”

Dara answered and pointed at his daughter: “Here is my daughter Sakura, and…”

The guard interrupted, “Ah, so you both are Japanese, given Sakura is the name of a Japanese rose.”

Dara could not hold back his giggles and replied, “oh, man… we are Khmer, but not Khmer Rouge.”

The guard was speechless and could stop laughing. “Oh, man... I thought you are Japanese or Vietnamese or Chinese. I am sorry for stopping you to check for tickets.”

Dara thanked him, “No problem, my friend. You are not the first man to think I am Vietnamese, Chinese, or Japanese. The Khmer Rouge questioned me before and treated me much worse than you treat me just now. They frogmarched me and dumped me on a landmine because they suspected me of working as a Vietnamese spy in 1990. It is always good to ask and double check before putting people in trouble.” Dara raised his thumb to the guard and said, “Good job.”

The guard replied, “Please hurry up then, I do not want you to miss the view of sunset.”

“It is OK.  We did it once before and it seems there is nothing new since we have the same sun and temple, don’t you think?” Dara answered jokingly.

“Well sir, you may not know that American experts joined with the World Monuments Fund and built wooden stairs and other facilities around this hill. Before you had to cling to tree roots or creeper vines climbing the hill, and by the time you reached the top of the hill you were sweaty and smelly like horse and sometimes you missed the sunset.  Now you just walk up the wooden stair, walking hand in hand, like you are climbing a stairway to heaven.”

“That sounds great then,” Dara replied and gave him a big smile. He then turned to talk to his daughter Sakura,” the guard is right. You may not remember that when the three of us visited here, your mom and I helped you to get to the top. I sometimes put you sitting on my back and your mom gave you water. We were a bit tired but we loved it all.”

Sakura walked behind her dad and listened to all the sweet memories he recalled.

“Now our country is at peace, it has social development, more tourists come and much more.  I really want to have your mom with us again and forever to enjoy this new development, something I call new Cambodia on old land, but… she…” Dara almost broke down and he stopped talking. He turned to Sakura and tugged her sleeve to move faster to make sure they will not miss the sunset.

Cambodia’s afternoons in November are warm although the sun’s heat is not as strong as in dry season. But the surrounding natural environment looks great with green landscape, birds chirping, a refreshing breeze cooling the afternoon, and the clouds passing by paving way for sunset.  No more Khmer Rouge rebels hiding in the bush or jungle nearby the temple and no more landmines. The dad and daughter walked up the stairs among several foreign tourists from Europe, Chinese, Japan, South Korea, and others. Some walked and stopped to take pictures, others walked fast as they wanted to get the best seats to see the sun set. 

Once they were at the top they waited then watched the sunset on the hill of Bakheng Hill along with many other tourists. The view was great. The birds flew back and forth over the temple. The noisy Chinese and Vietnamese fought to get spaces so that they can sit and shoot pictures of the sunset. Dara sat next to his daughter and began recalling his sweet memories of 10 years ago when Duongchan was with them visiting Angkor for the first time in 2003.

Dara told his daughter, “When we came here in 2003, I carried you in one hand and helped your mom climbing the hill with the other. It took us more than half an hour to get from the bottom of the hill to the top of the hill of Bakheng. We sat over there on that sandstone and your mom held you carefully to make sure you did not fall from the hill. You sat on that sandstone dangling your legs and swinging left and right.”

To be continued …

Final Part

Sakura listened to her dad attentively and asked, “We should go there and ask the noisy Chinese tourists to leave that place so we can sit there again and re-enact that moment. What you think?”

Dara asked her to wait. “They will leave after sunset and we will go there and sit like we did 10 years ago.”

The sound of clicking cameras was the soundtrack of sunset, along with gasps of amazement at the view. The sun had now set and visitors started leaving the site. The father and daughter stayed longer. Dara walked hand in hand with his daughter around the site. Dara’s memories were of his wife who was with them before. Sakura and her dad walked to the sandstone and sat where her mom Duongchan did 10 years ago. Sakura shed tears over missing her mom.  Dara sat in silence. They both missed Duongchan badly. “The sandstones are still there… the temple of Bakheng hill is still standing even stronger than before… unfortunately Duongchan’s whereabouts is not known,” Dara told his heart.

Dara asked the spirit of ancestral Khmer Angkor to make Duongchan’s mind returns to see Sakura. At the same time, Sakura stood up and walked to prostrate herself before the temple of Bakheng with her palms together and raised in the air, saying: “I am a strong believer in Buddha. My dad and I never did anything bad in this life, so how come we have to go through suffering like this and separation from my mom for years.  It is now eight years since she left us in 2005. It is more than enough, please stop punishing us. May the spirits of our Khmer ancestors awake my mom’s mind to come and see us again. We miss her so much. I want to see her in person and I can’t wait anymore. We love her. Please come back and see us now. Where are you, mom? What made you keep avoiding meeting us like this? I do not understand this.” As Sakura talked to the spirits, her dad cried with both hands wiping away his tears. Dara started to speak in breaking trembling voice, “May the spirits of all kinds please help me to convey our messages of love to Duongchan that our love for her never died. The climate and the world keeps changing but not our love for Duongchan. Our life is not complete without you, Duongchan.” The father and daughter cried and cried. They sat and prayed for help from Angkor’s spirits to get Duongchan to see them again. They sat in the dark and keep repeating their words as if they were in a Buddhist temple until they were asked by the temple guard to go down the stairs and leave.

The daughter and dad walked down the stair hand in hand and went back to the guesthouse. Still there was no sign of Duongchan.

The next morning, Sakura asked her dad to hang around in Siem Reap town for another day. It was now the fourth day. Dara agreed. They visited other temples, such as Banteay Srei temple, where the temple represents female brave fighters protecting Angkor.

On their way to the temple, Dara who had himself covered the tragic events when the Khmer Rouge attacked American tourists in early 1995, pointed to the site as they drove by, saying, “that was where the Khmer Rouge ambushed American tourists...”

Sakura was shocked, asking, “Could we be attacked at this time?”

The dad replied, “No more. I told you yesterday that no more of Pol Pot’s rebels are in the jungle. They all surrendered to the government in late 1998 following the death of Pol Pot in April.

There has been no more Khmer Rouge since the Khmer Rouge’s political and military organization collapsed that same year.”

“That is great then, no more Khmer Rouge,” she said, raising her thumb to her dad as he was driving.

On their way back from Banteay Srei temple, they toured the site of Angkor, and Dara told his daughter about the protection, preservation, and restoration of Angkor.

Dara explained: “You can see many ancient temples, built from the 9th century, were in ruins as the result of nature and weather, others collapsed from old age, and many looted during Cambodia’s civil war in 1970s. We are lucky that more than 20 foreign institutions, from more than 10 countries, along with archaeological experts and technical assistance, joined with Cambodia’s APSARA authority to do restoration work.”

Sakura looked around and was intrigued by the artistic works on the walls of the temples and asked when the restoration work began.

The dad, who had learned a great deal from his work as journalist, explained; “The Angkor complex was inscribed onto the list of World Heritage Sites in December 1992. Then lots of restoration work began thanks to foreign assistance.  As far as I know, an estimated $500 million has been invested in nearly 60 projects for protection, preservation, and restoration.”

Sakura wanted to make her dad happy and for him to leave behind his sadness, and she said, “You are telling me foreign experts can fix the ruins, I hope your broken heart can be healed by mom one day.”

She continued: “Many Cambodia’s artefacts which had been looted during our country at war have now returned from far away, such as U.S. after nearly 30 years of separation… and I hope one day mom will return and we will live together again as happy family”.

Dara tried to smile although his face still looked sad, and replied, “I hope so, although I am still doubtful if this will happen. They can fix the collapsed temples but no-one can heal my heartbroken except your mom. As always, I am waiting for your mom to return, only time will tell if that happens.”

The dad and daughter got back to the hotel before sunset, hoping to see Duongchan. Still, she had not shown up.

The fifth day arrived, and Dara and Sakura looked quite sad. Instead of waiting and waiting in Siem Reap town, Dara decided to give Sakura another tour to the neighbouring province of Battambang where he lived in the late 1980s to avoid being mobilized to join Phnom Penh’s faction in the fight against the Khmer Rouge.

END OF CHAPTER 16